My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
