i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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