Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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