hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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