It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
