If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
