I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
