I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
