yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i dont even know how to be here
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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