I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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