the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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