Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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