I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize