so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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