that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
