At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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