I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
