Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
