Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
