Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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