fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
