Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
