I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
