My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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