am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
