In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
how drunk are you?
Several
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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