is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
