pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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