Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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