Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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