I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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