Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
