Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i think i scared a bird with my dick
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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