I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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