You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
