My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
