Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
