I'm lost and stupid without you.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
