I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
