hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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