I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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