Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
