Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
