What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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