where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
