3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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