The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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