I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
