Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
