I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
