my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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