dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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