I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize