C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
