Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
