I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
