***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
