Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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