it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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