K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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