I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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